Poorly Designed Cars ... and I Have Owned Several of Them

 By Bruce Shawkey

No one wants to drive a lemon. You know, the car you buy, then as soon as you take it off the lot something fails. The engine goes kaput, or the brakes don't work. The worst thing that could happen goes wrong, and you're left with a huge repair bill, in many instances more the car is worth. 

What is there to say about the Peel Trident? It was launched in 1964 at the British Motorcycle Show and was intended to be used as an "occasional two-seater." By 1966, the Peel Engineering Company ended production on the strange little car. The Trident might be gone, but the legend lives on. On Monster Garage, Jesse James got his hands on one and tried to fit it with a motorcycle engine and new frame. The experiment failed and James destroyed the car for his television audience to see.

As soon as the Pontiac Aztek was announced, it was universally hated by car lovers. Critics claimed the design of the car itself made no sense, especially its oddly-shaped front end. It didn't help that the body was made of plastic instead of something safer.

When Pontiac announced the features that would come with the Aztek and the price tag they would have to pay,it became clear the crossover was doomed. People just weren't willing to pay for unimpressive performance and underwhelming design. Pontiac eventually priced them cheap just to get rid of them. I never owned one, but knew people who did.

In 1982, Cadillac introduced the world to the Cimarron. The car was a disaster from the tart. GM wanted to move Cadillac into a smaller market, not nearly end the brand forever. Obviously, Cadillac is still around today, but that doesn't change the fact that GM almost cut the chord in the '80s. All because of the Cimarron. Few cars in history have been so bad, they threatened to end brands. Again, never owned one, but I knew enough about Cadillac to recognize this is as failure ... a bargain Cadillac for those who couldn't afford a "real" one!

The Mustang II suffered from several fatal flaws, including a generally underwhelming performance. Knew a guy in high school who owned a real mustang convertible in fire engine red. It would put this piece of crap to shame.

The Amphicar was made from 1961 until 1968, but was never really impressive. The car was able to go from land into the water, but the transition between the two was not easy. The car performed in the middle of the pack on land, and required massive maintenance after going for a dip. At least 13 joints would need to be greased. Most Amphicars were sold in the United States.

Like many automobiles released in the 1990s, the Plymouth Prowler was not destined to become a classic. Although its designers took a look back at the days of hot rods for the Prowler's appearance, they apparently overlooked a key feature of hot rods: horsepower. The Prowler's 3.5 liter V6 packed just a measly 250 horsepower. A manual transmission wasn't even an option. Chrysler stopped producing the vehicles in 2002.

The 1975 AMC Pacer did not help reverse the poor fortunes of the American Motor Company. Released at the height of the '70s compact car craze, the Pacer was the king of the hill when it came to size and fuel economy. Getting behind the wheel of one, however, turned out to be pretty dangerous. Critics were quick to point out the Pacer's poor performance and difficult handling. In other words, the car might have been fun for race car drivers, but not consumers who just wanted to get to and from work safely. I owned a 1972 Gremlin, that I pad just $2,700 for, but that's as close as I came. The Pacer was featured prominently in the 1979 film "Wayne's World," symbolizing quirky nostalgia.

Only in Hollywood would a car company come up with the Davis D-2 Diva. The strange, and we're guessing futuristic looking(?), car was designed by the Davis Motor Company in Southern California. Thankfully for everyone involved, it never found its way to the market. The auto maker's owner was notorious for shady business practices and overestimated the supply he needed of the vehicle. Investors, in turn, became increasingly upset waiting for their return. Eventually, they abandoned ship, sinking the D-2 Divan for good.

When the Berlin Wall went up, Germany was divided into West Germany and East Germany. Volkswagon existed in the west and was flying high on the success of the Beetle. East Germany refused to buy cars from the west and came up with the Trabant.

The problem was too many features were missing from the Trabant to make it worth driving. There were no seat belts, the hood needed to be opened to refill its gas tank, and there was no fuel gauge or tachometer on the inside. Yikes!

Be happy if you're too young to remember the Ford Pinto. Widely regarded as one of, if not the worst car ever made, the Pinto was a nightmare for Ford. Marketed as the future of compact cars, the Pinto offered decent performance and good fuel economy. The problem was it had a tendency to explode. That's not an over-exaggeration, either. The Pinto became notorious after its release for exploding when hit by another vehicle. Ford refused to fix the problem, instead preferring to pay any victims, we mean buyers, and end production of the vehicle.

In a big city where parking is limited, Smart Cars were immensely popular. They can fit just about anywhere, and have incredible fuel efficiency. That doesn't mean they're comfortable, though. Built with its engine in the back and cooling system in the front, it's easy to cook your passengers on a warm summer day. The heating and cooling problem proved to be too much for casual consumers, causing sales to plummet and almost bankrupting the brand.

I owned one of these, a 1974. Spent more on repairs than the car was worth. The Chevy Vega received plenty of attention and praise when it was first introduced. It was even named the 1971 Motor Trend Car of the Year! That good reputation quickly unraveled though, as the 1971 Vega was riddled with problems. From a tendency to rust, to being unreliable, to engineering and engine problems, the car was a disaster. Production ended with the 1977 model.

Perhaps the most absurd car on this list, the 1958 Zundapp Janus holds a special place in our confused little hearts. When its doors are open, it's impossible to tell which end is the front, and which end is the back. The car was designed by a motorcycle company trying to make a splash in the car industry. Wanting to stand out, the put the doors to the Janus in the front and back. And if that wasn't bad enough, the car could only reach a top speed of 50 miles per hours, which is great if you prefer driving in the slow lane.

Owned one of these while living in Evansville. Not a bad little car, but didn't last very long. Think I paid about $200 for it.

Ford marketed this as the "car of the future." Consumers found the Edsel to be underwhelming and overpriced. Whoops. Today, the name "Edsel" is synonymous with "commercial failure." Especially since it was named in honor of Edsel B. Ford, the son of company founder Henry Ford. Edsels were only manufactured from 1958 through 1960.

The DeLorean DMC-12 is synonymous with the 1985 film Back to the Future, which is where many people were introduced to the iconic car. Deloreans are known to have many issues with their electrical systems, which leads to general reliability problems. Additionally, the cars are underpowered and have poor build quality. 

Suzuki Samurai

Although the Suzuki Samurai has its fair share of die-hard fans, it was completely torn apart by Consumer Reports in 1988 when the esteemed publication called it "dangerously unsafe" for roads. Consumer Reports actually demanded that Suzuki recall the vehicles due to its findings. the car never recovered from the public condemnation. In 2012, Suzuki withdrew from the American auto market. It was famously panned by Seth Myers on the Family Guy when Peter hurt his balls when his friends took it off-road.

A former girlfriend owned one of these, and took meticulous care of it, recording every gas purchase and every maintenance performed. The Chevrolet Citation was a frontrunner for compact cars entering the 1980s auto market. It initially sold well -- 800,000+ in its first year alone -- and was even named Motor Trend's Car of the Year in 1980. As a replacement to the disastrous Nova, the company had high hopes for the Citation. Consumer Reports dashed that hope, however, when it declared that the car was so poorly designed that it was actually dangerous. Sales plummeted immediately, and Chevy stopped making the Citation by 1985.

The Reliant Robin is a compact car produced by England's Reliant Motor Company. It's actually the second most popular fiberglass vehicle in England, despite its odd appearance and tendency to flip over due to its three-wheel design. The Robin never took off in the United States, and many American drivers were surprised the first time they ever saw one.

The Italian company Zagato produced this zany electric microcar called the Elcar. Only in production from 1974 to 1976, it had a low top speed and a range of just 10 miles in weather below 40 degrees. And with a recharge time of eight hours, the Elcar never took off.

 

But when the company released the Omni, sales of the tiny hatchback almost single-handedly brought Chrysler back. That doesn't mean the Omni was a good car, however. Consumer Reports gave it a "Not Acceptable" rating, citing difficulty with maneuvering. Time magazine found similar faults with the Omni, and Chrysler responded with some tweaks to the vehicle. People bought the Omnis up like crazy, despite all their issues. Between 1977 to 1990, Chrysler produced almost three million of them. My sister owned one of these, and it actually wasn't that bad of a car.

One Autotrader review of Yugo as a brand said, "it's generally agreed that the Yugo is one of the single worst cars ever sold in the United States." Manufactured by a Yugoslav company called Zastava Automobiles, the petite vehicles have long been the subject of ridicule in the US.

The GV model series is the one that was sold in America, and it's especially loathed. It has been included on numerous publications' "worst cars in history" lists, including Car Talk and Time magazine.

Designed by Buckminster Fuller during the Great Depression, the Dymaxion was featured at the 1933 World's Fair. Three prototypes were presented with one goal in mind. To eventually have a car that could drive, fly, and swim. Before the prototypes could be mass produced, however, Buckminster ceased production. He claimed the car had never been designed to sell to the public despite their obvious interest. In testing the car, Fuller discovered that it handled poorly, possibly contributing to his refusal to mass produce.