Bruce's Smorsasborg

 By Bruce Shawkey The Madison Sanitarium on Lakeside Street, located along the south shore of  lake Monona, Named the Lakeside Sanitarium, it was a popular resort. It burned in the 1870s and was never rebuilt. The Madison Sanitarium, a legitimate hospital and nursing home, opened in 1903 as a branch of the Battle Creek Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan.

 By Bruce Shawkey Since its founding in 1947, the CIA has been involved in some bizarre shit. A recent dive into the Internet reveals reports on: Psychic children in China Soviet travel and entry techniques Psychic Process, Energy Transfer, and Things That Go Bump in the Night The Spy that Nazis missed ( George Wood brought the Allies some 2,600 secret documents from Hitler's Foreign Office). Propaganda Guidelines Moslem Brotherhood Threat in Egypt The War Nobody Knows ( the war between the Iraqi government and its 2.5 million Kurdish minority) The KGB in Asia: Society of Subversion Parapsychology in the Peoples Republic of China Possible Establishment of an Aircraft Industry in East Germany Human Paranormal Capabilities Basically, the CIA can stick its nose into anything it wants; anything it deems necessary to the vital interest and security 9f the United States. What could psychic children in China possibly have to do with keeping us safe? I don't know, but the CIA apparentl...

 By Bruce Shawkey "The check is in the mail," or closely related, "The post office must have lost it." The post office DOES lose shit, but all too often they get a bad rap. “I have read and agree to the terms and conditions.” Nobody does this! Just click "agree." "When I am elected, I will…” Politicians' promises. We value your privacy. Like hell you do! All info is available for a price. The surgeon who says, “you’ll experience some mild discomfort.” You know it’s gonna hurt like hell. "You can do anything if you put your mind to it." We all have our limitations. I could study my ass off and cut out all junk food and work out non-stop. Does it mean I'll be the next Elon Musk or Albert Einstein? No. We all have limitations. I can quit anytime I want. A favorite of alcoholics and cigarette smokers. "If there are any questions, please don‘t hesitate to ask." A favorite of HR departments. They work for the company; they're...

 By Bruce Shawkey I was a reporter for the Wisconsin State Journal for about five years while I was at the University of Wisconsin Journalism School. General assignment. Worked mostly nights and weekends. Here's a sample for my clip file: Mail order peddlers (mail order consulting) Timber frame housing Mobile home owners want more rights Cow chip throwing contest Madison touch football league UW botanist Stan Pelequin develops true potato seed to ease world hunger Stewart Brand "Whole Earth Catalog" Madison Muskies organ player Badger spelling bee Acid rain research project Gasoline consumption drops in Wisconsin Sun Prairie sweet corn festival Civilian Conservation Corps reunion UW Arboretum Mifflin Street block party Chef to Wisconsin governors Annual library book sale Painters union reach accord Drunk driving laws toughened (made front page above the fold) Richard Roberts, son of Oral, holds rally at Oscar Mayer Theater Building handicapped accessible homes Henry Vilas...

 By Bruce Shawkey Henry Morrison Flagler (January 2, 1830 – May 20, 1913) was an American industrialist and a founder of Standard Oil, which was first based in Ohio. He was also a key figure in the development of the Atlantic coast of Florida and founder of the Florida East Coast Railway. He is also known as a co-founder and major investor of the cities of Miami and Palm Beach, Florida. In June 1870, Flagler and Rockefeller formed Standard Oil of Ohio, which rapidly became the most profitable refiner in Ohio. Standard Oil grew to become one of the largest shippers of oil and kerosene in the country. The company developed over 300 oil-based products from tar to paint to Vaseline petroleum jelly to chewing gum. By the end of the 1870s, Standard was refining over 90% of the oil in the U.S. Standard Oil gradually gained almost complete control of oil refining and marketing in the United States through horizontal integration. The firm was attacked by journalists and politicians througho...

 By Bruce Shawkey A banana split made with Wheaties It'll help you crap, too! Now that's telling it like it is! I pity the fool who eats this crap Nothing says 'Yummie' like a Wheaties sundae more cereals; these are mostly aimed at kids This one might actually be healthy